You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
