so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So much rum. So many feels.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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