why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
