Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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