her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
