I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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