the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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