if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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