'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
