Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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