i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
