I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize