$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
