I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
