question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
