I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
