The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
