he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
