my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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