did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Porn is love you can see.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
