My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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