dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize