dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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