All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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