I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
