I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
