She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Mom said you looked used
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
