K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Randomize
