i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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