I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
