I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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