So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
