Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
