Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
