listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
