oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
