Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
