Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
