Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
