Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
