i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize