you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
