So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
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i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
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it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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