what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
