More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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