well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
