This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
