You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think a kid would responsible me up
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
