its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
