I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
