Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize