Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
