Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
that's an acceptable place to lick
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
