Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
