best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
