HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
