You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
