how do flat chested girls get laid?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Semen is not good for contacts.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Randomize
