Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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