He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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