I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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