My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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