wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You took a bar mat shot.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
