Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
