Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You dont lie about slip and slides
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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