So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
