I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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